Missing the Confident, Self - Loving & Happy Dre...

Hey ya'll and welcome back!

I wanted to write this blog in hopes of finding help, guidance and some sort of accountability.  So many people have expressed how strong of a woman I am.  Even though I am thankful for being viewed as such I feel like the complete opposite.  Like my life is crumbling right before me, and even though on the outside I look "strong" the inside is so weak.  

Before my life got turned upside down, I was on track to finally being healthy for once in my life.  Eating healthy and working out had become my lifestyle.  I had gotten to feeling the best I have ever felt.  With each day that I got farther along my journey the more confident I was becoming.  When I looked in the mirror I actually loved who I saw.  You could say I was genuinely happy from the inside out.  As if everything seemed to be so right.  For once I was becoming closer to being at the top of my own priority list.

Not to long after reaching this point of my life is when my world got turned upside down.  With each new day I was sliding farther and farther away from making myself a priority.  All I wanted to do was put mom and helping everyone but myself first.  It seemed so much easier to do and it became my new reality.  The worse mom got and the more care she needed the worse I became (in terms of caring for myself).  My energy and motivation become non existent.  

I was headed backwards and toward that dark place I was in before my weight loss journey.  Eating healthy and working out was just so hard for me.  I feel like I am stuck and can't find my way back.  Like being in survival mode and I am doing good to get ready each day.  I was doing ok for a couple of months where I was getting back to eating the way I used to (cleanly).  I had cut sugar out of my diet and had become picky about what I was eating.  I would work out a couple of days a week but not like I was use to (working out 5-6 days).  It is as if I can't find my rhythm again.  

For anyone reading this I am asking for help and guidance.   I need help getting back on track.  I need guidance for what steps I should take in getting back on track.  Lastly, I need some kind of accountability partner to keep me in check.  If anyone has advice I honestly need any kind of help that anyone is willing to give me.  A part of me will never be the same.  One thing that I must change is putting myself first and self-care.  I made a promise to mom that I would finally get to the Dre I had been so close to becoming.  The Dre that was confident, self-loving and happy.  The Dre that was healthier and creating a better version of herself.  So here I am asking for help to keep that promise to mom. 

Here is to finding this Dre again!

Have a great day and God Bless!