Update on Mom

Hey Ya'll and Welcome Back 💞

Todays blog post was not easy to write but with permission from mom she has allowed me to share a moment that I pray no one ever has to face.

August 15, 2017 a day that seemed like any other day.  Mom and I were on our way to the cancer center.  While I was pulling into the parking garage mom gets a phone call.  The call was from her radiation oncologist informing her of a stat MRI.  We walk into the cancer center like all the other times we have.  She gets her lab work and we walk over to her little pod waiting for treatment.  The nurse comes over and informs us that they needed to start an iv for the MRI.  I began getting a little anxious due to the urgency the nurses and doctor had.  

Mom has been very unstable and weak the past couple of weeks.  Walking has become a struggle for her and it just seemed like mom was moving backwards towards recovery.  We place mom in a wheelchair and I wheel her down to the outpatient imaging.  The technician comes out and we go up to where they perform MRI's for hospital patients.  I sit in the waiting room like I have many times before.  This time seemed slightly different I was alone and I could here the jack hammer sounds coming from the machine.  While waiting I just prayed that the results would not reflect as badly as her physical condition.  

Once the MRI was complete we are taken back to the cancer center.  We get back to her little pod expecting for her to get treatment.  While sitting there we were trying to figure out what we wanted to order from Zoe's Kitchen. (which we didn't feel like eating after you read more.)  I handed mom my laptop that way she could look at the menu.  Mom began pushing on the screen thinking it was touch screen.  This moment brought us laughter something we needed because we didn't know what was about to come.  The nurse comes over and let us know that the pharmacy was preparing her treatment.  Waiting wasn't an issue because we have waited for the treatment many times before.  The nurse came back and let us know that the MRI results were being reviewed and both of moms doctors would be speaking with us.  Moms nurse practitioner came over and let us know we would be taken to a private room.  The nurse practitioner was usually very happy and upbeat.  From the way she acted around us I began to realize this wasn't good.

Mom and I were walking to the exam room to meet with her radiation oncologist.  As we were walking we see him and I knew by his demeanor that something was not right.  We sit down and he began speaking.  He shared with us that moms tumors in her brain had gotten worse.  The spot that was on her cerebellum had grown and their are even more tumors hiding inside that one.  After informing us of what he saw I thought he would share a new radiation plan.  This part I am about to share is something that I am not ready to accept but know I have to.

My mom has put up an amazing fight against this horrible disease.  Unfortunately, mom didn't get her victory against cancer.  She is stopping all treatments because in all honesty at this point it will not do anything.  Hospice will be coming to the house to talk to us on Thursday.  They will be taking care of mom at home until she will be needing to be moved to the hospice house.  

A huge part of me is being selfish because my mom is my best friend.  I am not ready to let her go.  We don't have a time frame on mom and she is taking things a day at a time.  Today has felt like a nightmare that I keep thinking I will wake up from.  My mom is so strong and I have been by her side through this fight.  Having to hold my moms hand while she found out news that you never want to receive will be one of the hardest moments.  One of the hardest moments from today happened while we were watching moms favorite show Monk.  It was the series finale and the ending song came on.  The song is called When I'm Gone.  Mom grabbed my hand and said of all the songs to hear today this had to be the one.  Tears rolled down her face and she told us that she was going to miss us when she was gone.  This type of conversation is one that is not easy and something you don't want to think about.

My family and I would like to thank all of you for the continued prayers and support.  My mom is an amazing person that gave her best she could.  I Love You Bugs and thank you for being the best mom a girl could ask for.

Until next time, have a great day and God Bless.